Last week I wrote about Leadership, the Gift That Keeps on Giving. Several e-mails asked about the challenge of leading a health team in the role of caregiver. Great question! A challenge of leading in a sometimes hostile confederacy of people who don’t even know they’re on a team. Same dilemma as the person who’s on the health journey plus leading when it’s not your life, but a loved one’s. Let’s make it crazier still, as caregiver, you might not want to lead, but there’s a vacuum sucking you in.
In my work life as a leader I see my role to attend to self-care of whole team, get stuff out of the team’s way so they can do their job, listen to what they need, advocate for them, keep them informed about the larger organization, set the tone and culture by example, delegate, keep things moving, plan for succession, and be trustworthy.
How does that help me as a caregiver? One thing I noticed about my mom during her last months – when alert she paid a lot of attention to the well-being of her team. As a caregiver leading that’s a challenge and maybe the most important job. The person you’re caring for may take self-care of the rest of the team as minor desertions. But the team can’t support unless they’re as well as possible in the midst of the stress. So I guess that the caregiver leader sets the tone of self-care by example. Getting stuff out of the way can mean helping to arrange schedules, transportation, meals, equipment, meds, and communication channels. When my son Mike was dying, we had a weekly family call, Friday’s at 7p where we reviewed the past week’s events, next week’s schedule of appointments, needs of everyone, divvied up work and figured out who to ask for what. People often come out of the woodwork to help, but don’t know how. They can be a pain if they don’t know. Given direction they’re a blessing. Read More