Limits. Spending time this weekend with friends of 30-40-50 years – lots of young kids my grandsons’ ages in the mix. Watching the constant shifting dance of setting limits, testing limits. Children cutting their teeth on their parents and grandparents. Also observing us 60 something oldsters bumping up against our physical capabilities – joint disease, surgery, acute and chronic illness. How long can we keep up the pace we’re accustomed to, how long do we want to? How do we maintain or extend our capabilities? I watch my 87-year-old mother, in pretty good health, slowly winding down, withdrawing from some social and physical activities. Limits – acculturation, recalibration, will. Limits impact community engagement, social connectedness – Physical access, relationships, conduct, opportunity. We respond so differently to limits – tantrums, frustration, anxiety, negotiation, determination, resignation, relief. A magic lever of best health: our response to limits.
Worry, a familiar and unwelcome companion on the health journey. What do I have? Will I have to adjust my life (further)? Can I keep the faith? Who will help ME? What have I missed? Can I do it all? Fretting weakens- stomach aches, binge eating, inattention, sleeplessness, short fuse-what a pain! Who, on the health team – person at the center, caregiver, professional – who that is alive avoids worry? It can fill the spaces between the cells. Worrying makes me mad. It saps fuel from my limited tank. What helps me lessen worry? More information, empathy, kvetching for a minute (a timed minute), getting out of bed, making a list, grandkids, music, meditating on my peaceful place, following a mentor/counselor’s instructions, change something in my life, rarely, a pill. How can I help lessen the sum total of worry in my teams and networks? I can recognize the signs, provide information, be flexible, listen, empathize, and offer small unexpected kindnesses. These are magic levers of best health.
I just want to focus on the basics!