I’ve officiated at about 20 weddings over the past 35 years – the most recent – last weekend. Being a minister is like being a nurse. It’s a gift to have moments of intimacy with people at crucial moments in their lives – glimpses of the fiber of relationships between loved ones and with their family members. The fiber can be tough and sinewy, new and delicate, or anything in between. As a student of relationships, I often reflect on this x-ray of human connections. Can I read anything about durability or the capacity to face inevitable uncertainty or tragedy? I look for respect, listening, appreciation, learning, humor, affection. I so appreciate people who speak well of their partners. They are not alone together. My 39th anniversary just passed. Phew. We knew so little, we were so young. Who could have predicted we could make it 39 years? We certainly needed and sought help.
Sometimes I take this study of love and relationships into my fascination with caregiving. What makes family care-giving successful? It’s certainly a test of relationships? A common thread is not being alone together. So I guess I’ll add seeking and accepting help as part of my diagnostic of relationships – and caregiving. Have a good week.