Category

Family man

Special edition for blog subscribers only

By | Advocate, Caregiver, Clinician, Consumer, ePatient, Family man, Informaticist, Leader, Musician, Researcher | One Comment

Health Hats, The Blog is changing. I’m the same 2-legged white man of privilege, living in a food oasis, who can afford many hats, as I was a couple of months ago. But my advocacy, ministry, channel are changing.  I fell into this podcasting fellowship and here I am a podcaster, too. I’m having a blast. Loving the sound medium. The blog has been a mouthpiece for me. I tested the limits of showing how full of myself I can be. And it allowed me to think out loud.

You are my loyal audience. I write and produce for you. I start with a germ that’s mine. A question, an idea, an initiative I want to think through. Then I go to it with you in mind.  I ask myself, why should you care about whatever? It’s important to me, why do I think it should be important to you? As I write or produce, the germ sprouts, grows into something unexpected, almost all the time.  I’m amazed.

The thing about blogging is that’s almost always one-way. I average 1.3 comments per blog post over 6+ years. I’m getting a bit tired of myself. There’s so much about which I know enough to be dangerous. Podcasting can be a two-way street. Me learning about what interests me. I also recognize that some people like to read, others like to listen, and still others like to watch. So, I’m trying to develop all three media: blog, podcast, YouTube videos.

I’m part of a podcasting fellowship: eight weeks of daily coursework with 300 other budding podcasters from all over the world. We created a supportive community during the course. Now that it’s over, over 100 of us are still engaging, sharing, cheerleading, learning together. A model virtual community (I smell another blog post). I’m a budding sound engineer, producer, and interviewer. I added transcripts for readers and deaf folk. Be still my beating heart. Already, I’ve had an ode to my boy, Mike Funk, met men in caregiving, channeled clowns in the doctors office, explored health equity. I’m working on a series about young adults transitioning from pediatric to adult medicine from the young adult and parent perspective, and conceiving a series about pain management.

But I never asked you if this change to blogging plus podcasting was OK with you, what you think of it, or for your constructive criticism. This is me asking you now.

  • How do you like this transition and change I’m making?
  • Do you listen to the podcast? Read the show notes?
  • Do you still find the blog posts, show notes, written stuff valuable?
  • What do you think about the topics, the guests, the music, the quality of sound, the noise?
  • How about the length? It’s ranged from 20 to 68 minutes.
  • I’m using my cousin’s Joey van Leeuwen’s music. Isn’t he great!?

I was going to send you a survey, but I’d rather just hear from you. I’m eager for observations, atta boys, I’m outta heres, creative ideas, topic ideas, interviewees?

Talk to me, please. Email me at danny@health-hats.com!

And thank you for your loyalty.  Weekly for six years, OMG! We’ve been together a long time in blog years. Onward!

 

Lessons from the Clowns When Going to the Doctor’s

By | Caregiver, Clinician, ePatient, Family man, Podcasts | No Comments

What can the clowns can teach us as patients and caregivers about relaxing, reading the room, figuring out what you’re there to do, and not ending up more stressed than you went in. Maybe even having a bit of fun. In this podcast we will speak with Jason Stewart, a clown at Boston Children’s and listen in on a working session I led at the National Caregiving Conference in Chicago this past November, entitled, Reading the Room and Yourself. Lessons We Can Learn from the Clowns When We Go to the Doctor’s Office.  Lessons from the clowns? Humor, humanity, failure. Reading the room. You are not alone. Read More

Pillow, pills, poop, piss, and pain

By | Caregiver, Family man, Podcasts | No Comments
  • Blood, sweat, tears shared by two.
  • Helping one end and another begin.
  • A disaster that ultimately gives back.
  • Hearts clubbed by diamonds in spades.
  • We learned, we cried, we continued.

Episode Summary

Denise Brown of caregiving.com asked caregivers for their 6-word story about caregiving. Brilliant!

Welcome to Men Caregivers, Part 2, the Panel.  Part 1 was interviews with the panel, Ben Carter, Patrick Egan, Jolyon Hallows, and yours truly. All at the National Caregiving Conference in Chicago in November 2018.

Here are some of our 6-word stories:

  • We did it because we could
  • Pillows, pills, poop, piss, and pain
  • 20 years a caregiver. I adapted.
  • Key word isn’t ‘men’, it’s ‘caregiving’
  • Personal care? It depends? Mother, wife?
  • Managing the Dis Ease of Disease

Read More

Men Caregivers Part 1 Podcast

By | Caregiver, Family man, Podcasts | No Comments

Four of 6.4 million men caregivers muse on their varied experience, emotions, challenges, joys. We did it because we wanted to and we could. Great stories! Read More

May the Force…

By | ePatient, Family man | No Comments

Tragedy: the common unifying force of life, no matter your genetics, your circumstances, your behavior, your health. As you season the likelihood of experiencing tragedy increases. A tragedy can be a death, diagnosis of serious illness, break up, job loss, legal difficulties, downsizing, loss of a contract, loss of key staff, loss, loss, loss. Read More

Manage the Stress You Can

By | ePatient, Family man | 2 Comments

When my son, Mike, was dying I knew I needed help supporting Mike AND survive and thrive myself.  I went shopping for a counselor. No surprise to you – I am not an easy patient. But I was willing to do the work. My shopping eventually led me to three counselors.  The first, a friend highly recommended. This friend had survived leukemia with several years of chemo, stem cell transplant and heart surgery. His mental and spiritual health were shaken. I could see that this counselor had really helped him. I made an appointment. The guy popped Altoids Curiously Strong Peppermints the whole time. To keep himself awake? No go. Still shopping. The next counselor I knew from work. She was on my providers’ council. She asked questions. I answered. How did I feel…? I didn’t need talk therapy. I had family and friends. I needed a roadmap. How do I manage myself? The third counselor spent 5 minutes asking me about diet, sleep, exercise, pooping, my family, transportation. You have to take care of the basics to manage grief. Then he said, there’s stress you can manage and stress you can’t. Grief is stress that’s hard to manage.  There it is. It’s not going away. Now tell me your top two stresses in your life right now. That was easy. On top – My mother. (That’s another story for another day). Tell me more. I told him more, another 10 minutes. Then he gave me three things to try to help manage the stress with Ma. I spent 45 minutes of the allotted hour with him! He was a keeper.  I tried all three recommendations with Ma. I could pull off two. Rapidly less stress in that arena. Therapy from a master is worth shopping for! He’s still part of my team. I talk to him on the phone from time to time – like when I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Read More

Best Spiritual Health, Dying

By | Caregiver, ePatient, Family man | One Comment

Sixteen years ago on November 18, 2002, our son, our brother, our friend, Michael Funk, died of metastatic melanoma at age 26. Mike said that he wasn’t born with a tattoo on his butt telling him how long he had to live.  What a gift.  Mike was a gift. His perspective about dying was a gift. One day we were sitting at the kitchen table talking about dying and superpowers. Mike thought that he and I had the same superpower: we both accept what is. Yup, he died young. That’s life. You open your heart and tragedy just walks right in. What’s the alternative? Closed heart? Not for me.

Welcome, my dear Health Hats blog readers, let me introduce you to the birth of Health Hats, the Podcast. We are here to empower people as they travel together toward best health. Best health includes physical, mental, and spiritual health. Today’s blog post and podcast are about Mike who found his best spiritual health over the last year of his life, as he died. Read More

Best Health at End of Life

By | Caregiver, ePatient, Family man, Podcasts | 6 Comments

Episode Summary

Best Health includes physical, mental, and spiritual health. Michael Funk, my son, died at age 26 on November 18, 2002, of metastatic melanoma. Mike found his best spiritual health in the last year of his life as he died. As Mike said, I wasn’t born with a tattoo telling me how long I had to live. This first episode of Health Hats, the Podcast, celebrates Mike’s journey through a montage of an interview with Mike several months before he died, a conversation with Bob Doherty who conducted that interview, and stories about my experiences with Mike. Listen as we try to make sense of this reality. Read More

Stoking My Fires

By | Advocate, Caregiver, Clinician, ePatient, Family man | No Comments

Success is feeling like I have too much to do two days a week, not enough to do two days a week and not thinking about it for the rest. Today is a too much day. I missed a scheduled call. I was writing this post and missed it!!  Too funny.  How do I manage when I actually do manage, you ask? Well, if my wife wants to do something with me, the answer is yes. Same with my kids and grandkids. Then my health routine – steps, stretching, strengthening, balance, and stress management. Playing my horn. Blogging weekly. Finally responding to requests from my network cronies, making money and advocacy. (Note: I am retired and my family is all independent and healthy). So really the slack for me is only in those last ones. And health is the blowing up wildcard.  When health dips, my spiel is BS.

My latest struggle is saying no to pro bono work. So many intriguing opportunities. But time is precious. Keys to time management success are well-defined commitments, deliverables, and timeframes; calendar, and task lists; plus strong partners and collaborators. Strong partners and collaborators make the work fun and efficient. The fun stokes my fires. This week the Society for Participatory Medicine’s one-day conference stoked my fire. What stokes yours?

Photo by Dominik Lange on Unsplash

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Need a recharge? Listen for what works.

 

Power, Fear, Lack of Empathy

By | Advocate, Family man, Leader | 6 Comments

Photo of Ruth and Ruben van Leeuwen circa 1947

I was riding my trike this morning at 6:30. It was beautiful, dry, cool, few people out. My pathological optimism has escaped me.  I needed serenity following my recent MS infusion. I was hoping that I’d find clarity for the post I started yesterday about health data, health research, learning, and adjusting. I’m underwhelmed by our collective ability to learn and change based on experience and evidence. Where do I go with this germ of a post?

But no, I’m getting more and more agitated with every pedal. First, immigration and refugees. Then Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination. I can’t shake it. No serenity, no nifty pearl for my post. Just escalating sickened outrage about power, fear, lack of empathy and its effect on our community well-being. Deep breaths, mindful meditation have no effect.

My parents, both Holocaust survivors, were not religious. But I heard Love thy neighbor as thyself often and I watched them live it.  My mom, when she finally began to speak about her experiences in hiding, emphasized her gratitude to the people who hid her at great risk to themselves. She would say, I wasn’t brave, they were.  I just survived. They were the heroes. The Trump administration is determined to wipe out immigration – both legal and illegal. It makes no sense to me. It flies in the face of decency, empathy, common sense, and evidence. Since this is a healthcare blog dedicated to empowering people as they travel toward best health, I’ll stick to that lens. Most people want to live the best life possible with their families, contributing something to their communities. This I believe. If they can’t be safe in the home, they want to move if they are able. If they can’t be safe in their countries, they want to emigrate. Even in the face of great risk. We in the US are fortunate.

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

So we do the work to assimilate! Is that so hard? It’s moral, ethical, empathetic, right. Practically, the fastest growing occupations in the US are home health aides, personal care assistants, medical assistants, software developers, nursing assistants, and registered nurses. All positions facing shortages.  All positions affecting our communities’ health. Who do we think is going to take care of us and develop tools that support our care as we age? Immigrants.

Second, Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination in the face of accusations of sexual assault. Again, outrage about power, fear, lack of empathy and its effect on our community well-being. Our Senate Judiciary consists of old white men without lived experience of assault and powerlessness (or they haven’t come out yet). Maybe the most powerful office in the country with a lifetime appointment affecting the wellbeing of all of us.

OK, other people can opine on these topics better than I can.

For me, the central feature is power – the imbalance of power. Those in power want to stay in power at all costs. I think it’s a human condition of the ages. Evidence, curiosity, empathy, have little role. We know that this imbalance of power is evident in our healthcare business practices and our healthcare decision-making. Fortunately, I still have a reservoir of pathological optimism. My parents lived through the Holocaust, the country survived the Vietnam experience. I believe that there are cycles of learning and relearning, and relearning again. I believe that the response to power imbalance is to get more people with lived experience and less power a seat at the table, especially the tables of governance.  For immigration and our government, our power is in the ballot box. Elect people with lived experience who grew up farther from power and wealth. Please vote and help your neighbor register to vote.  And I’ll get back to my advocacy to bring more people with lived experience to the tables of governance, design, operations, and learning in healthcare delivery, business, research, and technology.

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