Category

Musician

Penny Whistle for Father

By | Family man, Musician | 2 Comments

Who knew he loved penny whistles?  The pianist who accompanied his cello-playing friend on piano for years told a story yesterday at his funeral. At Christmas last year, this father who I knew as awkward, serious, unemotional, religious, conservative, classical music-loving, got the church choir penny whistles and led them in a performance of Good King Wenceslaus. While the story was told, the priest pulled a penny whistle out from the pulpit and tweeted a few notes.  “It’s there to keep me humble.”

I consider myself a good read of people. 50-75% of the time I’m spot on (That’s 25-50% spot off).  It leads me to an occasional empathy-challenged state. A penny whistle can tip the balance.

Happy Father’s Day all you fathers.  I love the father in my sons. Here’s to you, Cliff, a faithful reader of this blog. You’ll be missed!

Taking a Risk

By | Advocate, Caregiver, ePatient, Musician | No Comments

OMG, I’m upgrading my website. I started the blog almost 5 years ago setting up the website with help from my friends Eric and Jodi (this is my 305th post). Now I want more from the website. I’m adding two pages: Portfolio to share my articles, guest posts, interviews, and projects. How Can I Help You? For topics we care about and related resources. I’m determined to create it myself – much like my wife and I built a house – seriously ignorant, reading instructions, tutoring, advice, and making significant mistakes while putting one foot in front of the other persistently. Learning something completely new is a frustrating gas. Frustrating until you learn a bare minimum of the language, get the right tools, building a support team, and finding the growing mindset of I can do this!? Frustrating when you mess up big time – like a couple of days ago when I unknowingly loaded 13 sample posts with my new theme and they went out to all of you looking like spam. (Thanks for letting me know and hanging in there with me.) A gas when you stumble upon or are pointed toward a solution, when you can find the solution a second time, when you can start to see the creation, and when someone else appreciates it. Gosh, this sounds like living or supporting someone with a chronic illness, living in another country or community, playing music, going to school, or starting a new job. Read More

Cinderblocks4 – Medical Advocacy at its Best

By | Advocate, Caregiver, ePatient, Informaticist, Leader, Musician, Researcher | No Comments

 

Pound for pound, the best health conference! A rare combination of small, local, action-oriented, inspiring networking, and relaxing. 40-50 attendees met in Grantsville, Garrett County, MD, population 766, for three days. Regina Holliday of Walking Gallery fame organizes and breathes life into Cinderblocks. The older I get, the more I seek people who collaborate to solve local problems that matter to them.   50% of the 30 presentations were literally local – from Garrett County and immediate vicinity. The rest came from as far as France and LA, Oklahoma, Texas, Boston, and DC to learn what works for each other. A sample: Read More

Three Words for the Year

By | Caregiver, ePatient, Family man, Leader, Musician | No Comments

CareGiving.com is sponsoring Note to Ourselves For 2016 and Three Words for 2017

My Note to Myself: Continue to do what I’m doing. Appreciate the small stuff (fresh running water, regular garbage pickup). Appreciate living within our means. Appreciate the warm rocks of my honey and my family. Appreciate my empathetic and skilled health team. Stick to my health and safety routine every day. Mentor bright young minds. Have fun when collaborating to do good work.

Three words: Balance. Caregivers. Onward.

Balance – Family, exercise, music, work. In that order

Caregivers – I do the work I do for caregivers – Honor the caregivers, help the helpers. We couldn’t exist without them.

Onward – Moving stuff an inch that has 10 miles to go, requires one foot in front of the other.

Happy New Year!!! Here we go – weeeee

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

By | Advocate, Caregiver, ePatient, Family man, Leader, Musician, Researcher | 2 Comments

Decisions, decisions, decisions. We face endless numbers of decisions during our health journeys. From the mundane, should I fast to lose weight? To the tedious, what statin should I take? To the heartbreak, should we do everything possible? Yesterday, after playing music, someone told us that he fasted to lose 20 pounds. How many weight loss discussions have we had in an endless number of settings. I can remember one time discussing it with my Primary Care doctor – no decision, no choice of action – just an observation that my weight had been steadily increasing over the years. My cholesterol is high, and my Dad died young of a heart attack (not from high cholesterol). I’ve taken six different statins. My Primary Care doc thinks the evidence is strong for me to take statins. We regularly change brand based on effects on my liver enzymes, cost, and insurance coverage.  A friend’s elder mother had major heart surgery. The cardiac surgeon reported success, she’s doing great – the blockage was successfully removed. She’s still in a coma, intubated. She’s never had end-of-life conversations, no advanced directives. Her husband will want to do everything possible. No decisions lead to a decision. Read More

Giving Thanks

By | Advocate, Caregiver, Clinician, ePatient, Family man, Leader, Musician | 4 Comments

thanksI’m thankful for my superpower that I shared with my mother, Ruth, and son, Mike – accepting what is.

I’m thankful that I was born a  white straight male to a closeted gay dad, Ruben, and a Holocaust survivor, Ruth – I appreciate that I have first world problems and learned from them that I must act to better the world.

I’m thankful that my best friend is my life partner and care partner – I strive to be equal to her love.

I’m thankful for my extended family, characters all.

I’m thankful for a 40+ year career as a nurse – privileged to serving during people’s most vulnerable moments.

I’m thankful that I was invited to join my grandmother, mother, and son during their end-of-life journeys.

I’m thankful that my grown sons love the strong women they married, revel in fatherhood, and contribute to community well-being – they keep me honest.

I’m thankful for my grandsons – OMG, what can I say?! Read More

Superpower: Opening our hearts

By | Advocate, Caregiver, Clinician, Consumer, ePatient, Family man, Leader, Musician | 5 Comments

I’m scared but not shocked. The level of disappointment so many people feel about their lives profoundly saddens me. I should have more. I would have more if it weren’t for others – all sorts of others. Feelings of injustice can power so much. I don’t pretend to understand all the righteousness, anger, and meanness that erupt when disappointment builds. But it feels as familiar as the human condition throughout the planet and over the ages. It’s like earthquakes from fracking.  I’m thankful that my mother, a Holocaust survivor, is no longer alive. She would be apoplectic and inconsolable.  What’s going to happen now? How should I act? As when grieving, I will mindfully minimize controllable stress – exercise, rest, listen to and play more music, spend more time with friends and family. I will continue to give thanks for all I have in my first world life. I will continue to pursue my passion for maximizing the experience of people at the center of care. I pray for the physical and spiritual strength to speak up, stand up, and act when the moments seems right. I’ll need strength to take the high road in this low road time. More than anything I’ll pray for unexpected open hearts. The community needs it. Our grandchildren need it.  The unborn need it. Onward.

Stranger in a Strange Land

By | Advocate, ePatient, Leader, Musician | No Comments

OMGdpdrmultiface, where’s my wife? I need to be rescued. I can’t do this. I can’t be here. My pounding heart, my rapid, shallow breathing. I can’t be here. Where’s my Ativan?! Have I gotten bad news, a diagnosis, felt a lump? Am I bleeding? Have I fallen? Am I a stranger in the strange land of the medical industrial complex?

No, I’m on a Blues Cruise. I want to play the blues with other amateurs. They are the amateurs that are not headliners. They have blues bands of their own and play regular gigs wherever they live.  I am an old, baby amateur. I’m the only horn player at this session. I don’t know the tunes. I don’t know what key they’re playing in. I am SO way over my head. It could just as well be a gaggle of 8-year old’s trading Pokémon cards. Read More

Life literacy – If you can’t explain it to a six year old…

By | Advocate, Caregiver, ePatient, Informaticist, Leader, Musician, Researcher | 2 Comments

I plstudentsay baritone saxophone in community Latin and blues funk bands.  Our professional musician leader teaches us the language of music theory – this week it’s Minor Dorian and Lydian scales. As an amateur I understand about a third of what he’s talking about. Still better than a quarter understood six months ago. In Washington this week I reviewed funding applications for PCORI (Patient Centered Outcomes Research Institute).  I serve as a patient reviewer. I made a point about the impact that the frailty of a person with congestive heart failure might have on readmission to the hospital. The review leader asked me if I meant xxxxxxxx (something about the methodology of the research study).  I had to say, probably not, since I didn’t understand a word you just said. I understand about 2/3 of the scientific conversation at thesparents-teachers-meeting-vinod-school_b2840c36-5634-11e6-bc43-9f8bec77897ce sessions. I also take part in calls for OpenID HEART Working Group that intends to harmonize and develop a set of privacy and security specifications that enable an individual to control the authorization of access to RESTful health-related data sharing APIs, and to facilitate the development of interoperable implementations of these specifications by others. I still don’t really understand those words. I understand about 25% of the conversation, up from the 5% understanding when I started a year or so ago. Read More

I’m So Discouraged

By | Caregiver, Clinician, ePatient, Family man, Musician | 7 Comments

Several times this week I heard a variation on: I’m so discouraged, I thought I was doing better. I just keep sliding back. I really suck at this. The topics: meditating every day, losing weight, managing anxiety, soloing, recovering from surgery. I heard each from more than one person. Several people said it about multiple things. One person, me, said it about losing weight and soloing. Two things strike me here. First, sucking and second sliding back. Can’t we give ourselves a break and celebrate that we’re trying? I’m trying to meditate every day, lose weight, improve my mental health, solo on my sax!!!! Yippee for me. Yippee for us!!! Recovering, healing, learning, changing habits doesn’t happen in a straight upward line, steadily better. It’s two steps forward, one step back. It’s up and down, first wildly so, then smaller cycles of up and down, over time with forward progress. Looking at just 2 data points only frustrates us, since we tend to recognize the down after the up, rather than the up after the down. In each of the scenarios someone heard the other and provided a good job, way to go, keep it up, keep me posted, call me anytime

I honor you’re work of healing, learning, recovering. Good job, way to go, keep me posted, call me anytime.